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  • You care for one another and do things for each other that show it
  • You share activities that you both enjoy
  • Decisions are made together about things that effect you both
  • You make decisions about things that are important to you
  • You are able to share your thoughts and feelings openly
  • You respect and trust one another
  • You aren’t afraid of what the other may do, say or think
  • You feel that you are able to just “be yourself”


  • Force, either physical or psychological, is used to try to control you
  • You are not allowed to freely associate with people you care about
  • You need permission to do things you want to
  • You must report where you have been and face accusations that you have been
    somewhere else or with someone else
  • “Fun” gets carried away to the point of hurting you
  • You are criticized for what you wear or how you look or talk…you are verbally belittled
  • Your family or friends are criticized or made fun of
  • You are pressured to do things that you do not approve of, morally, sexually, etc.
  • You feel you can’t ever let your guard down or just be yourself
  • You are blamed for the abuse… it’s all your fault