Children and teens who see, hear, or are aware of abuse against one parent figure that is perpetrated by another parent figure are affected by that experience. Witnessing abuse, especially within the family context, can have profound and lasting effects on children. It is essential to recognize that these effects can vary based on the nature, severity, and duration of the abuse, as well as the support systems available to the child.

During a significant portion of instances involving abuse towards women, young individuals, including children and teenagers, tend to be present. They exhibit awareness of such incidents, even when the parent experiencing abuse may perceive that the children are unaware of the situation.

Children witness violence by

• Being present
• Hearing the violence from another room
• Seeing bruises, black eyes, etc., on parent the next day
• Seeing the emotional response of the victim parent
• Living in an environment where you have to "walk on eggshells"

RELATIONSHIP ABUSE IN THE HOME AFFECTS CHILDREN OF ALL AGES

• They can live with constant fear and anxiety
• They may feel powerless
• They may have low self esteem
• Can have behavioural problems
• Can result in taking on adult roles prematurely (e.g. looking after siblings)
• Can result in depression, self-harm, and high risk behaviour
• Perpetuates the use of violence and intimidation to get what you want
• Desensitizes the child witnesses to violence
• Can result in attachment disorders
• Can result in inability to have healthy relationships as adults

COMMON EFFECTS OF A CHILD LIVING IN AN ABUSIVE HOME

Depression: Witnessing abuse can contribute to feelings of sadness and despair, leading to depressive symptoms.

Emotional Impact Fear and Anxiety: Children may experience heightened fear and anxiety due to the unpredictability of abusive situations. Guilt and Shame: Children might internalize the abuse, feeling guilty or responsible for the actions of the abuser. Depression: Witnessing abuse can contribute to feelings of sadness and despair, leading to depressive symptoms.

Behavioral Changes Aggression: Some children may display aggressive behavior as a way of coping with their own feelings of powerlessness. Withdrawal: Others may withdraw from social interactions, becoming more isolated and reserved. Regression: Younger children might exhibit behaviors typical of a younger age, such as bedwetting or thumb-sucking.

Cognitive Effects Difficulty Concentrating: Witnessing abuse can disrupt a child's ability to concentrate and focus on tasks. Learning Problems: Academic performance may be negatively impacted, leading to difficulties in school.

Social Challenges Difficulty Forming Relationships: Children exposed to abuse may struggle with forming and maintaining healthy relationships. Trust Issues: Witnessing betrayal within the family can make it challenging for children to trust others.

Physical Health Consequences Psychosomatic Symptoms: Chronic exposure to stress may manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, or other psychosomatic complaints.

Long-term Effects Increased Risk of Mental Health Disorders: Individuals who witnessed abuse as children may be at a higher risk of developing mental health disorders, including anxiety disorders, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Cycle of Violence: There is an increased likelihood that individuals who witnessed abuse may perpetuate similar patterns of behavior in their own relationships.

VARIABLES THAT INFLUENCE A CHILD’S REACTION TO VIOLENCE IN THE HOME

A child's reaction to violence can be influenced by various factors, and it's important to note that each child is unique. Some variables that can influence a child's reaction to witnessing violence include:

Age and Developmental Stage:

Younger children may have difficulty understanding the dynamics of violence but are still affected by the emotional atmosphere at home. Older children and adolescents might have a better understanding of the situation but may also be at an age where they are more vulnerable to long-term emotional effects.

Gender:

Research suggests that boys and girls may respond differently to witnessing relationship violence. For example, boys may be more likely to display externalizing behaviors, while girls may be more prone to internalizing emotions.

Closeness to the Victim or Perpetrator:

A child's relationship with the victim or perpetrator can significantly impact their reaction. If the child is close to the victim, they may experience a range of emotions such as fear, sadness, or empathy. If the perpetrator is a parent or caregiver, it can be particularly challenging for the child.

Frequency and Severity of Violence:

The intensity and frequency of violent incidents can contribute to the child's reaction. Chronic exposure to violence may lead to more severe emotional and psychological consequences.

Support System:

The presence of a strong support system, including friends, extended family, teachers, or counsellors, can mitigate the negative impact of relationship violence on a child. A supportive environment can provide a safe space for the child to express their feelings and seek help.

Resilience and Coping Skills:

A child's individual resilience and coping skills can influence how they respond to relationship violence. Some children may be more resilient and able to adapt to challenging circumstances, while others may struggle more with the emotional impact.

Cultural and Societal Factors:

Cultural beliefs and societal norms can shape a child's understanding of violence and influence their reaction. Some cultural contexts may stigmatize discussing family issues, making it more challenging for a child to seek help.

Previous Trauma or Adverse Experiences:

Children with a history of trauma or adverse experiences may be more vulnerable to the negative effects of violence. Past trauma can amplify the impact of witnessing violence within the family.

Access to Mental Health Resources:

The availability of mental health resources and the willingness of the child and their family to seek help can play a crucial role in mitigating the impact of violence.

HOW TO REDUCE THE EFFECTS OF LIVING WITH ABUSE ON CHILDREN:

Addressing abuse is a complex and challenging process, but seeking help and taking steps to create a safer environment for your children is crucial. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact emergency services in your area.

Seek professional counselling to adrress the emotional impact.

Create a safety plan. This may include identifying safe places in the home, establishing a code word or signal, and planning an escape route. Educate your children on how to respond in emergency situations and whom to contact for help.

Build a support sytem. Connect with friends, family, or support groups who can provide emotional support and practical assistance. Share your situation with someone you trust to create a network of people who can help you and your children.

Create stability. Establish routines and a stable environment to provide a sense of security for your children. Ensure they have access to education, healthcare, and extracurricular activities that contribute to their overall well-being.

These actions may be difficult to do because an abuser usually sees outside influences as threatening to his control over you and his family. The abuser wants to keep you isolated from friends, family, and the community so there is no challenge to his control. However, if you are able to manage to provide these supports to your children, the long-term effects on them of living with abuse will be minimalized.

HOW TO REDUCE THE EFFECTS OF LIVING WITH ABUSE ON CHILDREN:

Addressing abuse is a complex and challenging process, but seeking help and taking steps to create a safer environment for your children is crucial. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact emergency services in your area. Seek professional counselling to adrress the emotional impact.

Create a safety plan. This may include identifying safe places in the home, establishing a code word or signal, and planning an escape route. Educate your children on how to respond in emergency situations and whom to contact for help.

Build a support sytem. Connect with friends, family, or support groups who can provide emotional support and practical assistance.

Share your situation with someone you trust to create a network of people who can help you and your children.

Create stability. Establish routines and a stable environment to provide a sense of security for your children. Ensure they have access to education, healthcare, and extracurricular activities that contribute to their overall well-being.


These actions may be difficult to do because an abuser usually sees outside influences as threatening to his control over you and his family. The abuser wants to keep you isolated from friends, family, and the community so there is no challenge to his control. However, if you are able to manage to provide these supports to your children, the long-term effects on them of living with abuse will be minimalized.